今天 一下午和dolphin聊天
突然 她就問我 相不相信"感覺冥冥之中 自有定數"
好甄:"相信啊 感覺應該早就是註定好的吧!"
然後不知道為什麼dolphin和我講了好多好多
她覺得我受的傷很深?! (I dindn't know why she thought so)
dolphin說:
"放棄這麼多姻緣 嘴上說沒遇到對ㄉ人 其實是放不開吧?!"
"沒辦法接受新ㄉ 又放掉舊ㄉ 這樣要蹉跎到何時ㄚ"
"要嘛就回頭 反正都傷ㄉ這麼重了 沒差再痛一次 也許可以藉此看開 早死早超生囉"
"真的ㄚ 要就死ㄉ徹底 要就好好活 活死人不是一個好選擇" (活死人?!我是嗎?!)
"這次就算受傷 起碼可以讓自己徹底絕望 等重新燃起希望 妳就可以接受另一個啦"
"反正伸頭是一刀 縮頭也是一刀 勢必得跨出第一步ㄚ！" (從容赴義嗎)
"要有受傷ㄉ理準備 還有要有徹底死ㄉ打算 這就是需要勇氣ㄉ地方 有兩條路 一個是找別人 一個是回頭"
"也許會說現在這樣也很好 但是想是真的這麼好嗎?"
"他給ㄉ傷 只是不想面對而已 應該沒有真正好起來吧？"
"不過這是下下策 最好ㄉ還是直接放棄找另一個"
The conversation shocked me.
From dolphin's eyes, I was a loser in love.
Loser? I didn't care that I was a loser or not.
I thought love was not win nor lose.
Maybe dolphin just worried about me.
Everybody all asked me:"Why didn't you make a boyfriend?"
Sometimes, I said:"I am waiting for WH pursuing me." OR
"I am waiting for my Mr. Right."
I interrogate myself:"why do you hesitate?"
In fact, I get an clearly answer in my deep heart that he isn't a right person.
He is not suitable for me.
But how to explain that I can't take him away from my heart.
Dolphin said:"It wastes time to wait. You should better to let yourself give up"
"The best way to break this relationship is ... love again."
"But you have to know a thing before start, it will make you harm hardly.
When you be forsaked, you must let him go."
以中文來說 這叫作"置之死地而後生"
I meditated on this difficulty.
I am not sure that I recover or not.
I do not know that I still wait for him or not.
I do not know what will I do if another person come to me.
I do not know what consequence do I wish for.
Stop musing.
Forget it.
